A rainy night................

I have always had this fantasy about rain, night and solitude. Maybe from reading the series Kuasha or something I dun know what actually, but I always picture this Dark rainy night where I walk on an empty street. No one to be seen anywhere near by! Every one has taken their shelter for the night. Yet here I am walking by myself to an unknown destination. I walk alone in the dark night, raindrops making a sweet rhythmic sound all around me. I keep on walking; wet, soaked and satisfied. Satisfied to the very core of myself. I don’t know why I am satisfied, I dun know why I feel so free and one with the nature, but I do. I walk on as memories flash back in my head, memories of pain, and memories of joy. They crowd in my head as I try to shrug them off and concentrate on the silent absolute beauty of this queer night. A night of rain and solitude. 

Did you ever think why rain makes us feel lonely and depressed? Did you ever try to understand the inner meaning of this feeling? This is something much deeper then our life. This is something I search for. Why? I mean why this feeling of loneliness? Why does it affect some of us so much while others dun even know about this feeling? As soon as I see the rain and everything becoming silent except for the rhythmic sound of raindrops I become someone else, my mind seems to float away somewhere far. An unknown feeling towers over me. I feel as if I’m detached from this whole world and my heart feels so empty and thirsty. It feels as if even all the rain drops cannot fill the emptiness within me. I feel the endless search of something I want, except for the fact I do not know what it is that I want. I just know something is out there that I crave for, something that my whole being is eagerly waiting for. Only that I do not know what it is. I also feel the need of someone beside me who’d listen to the sweet jingling sound of the rain with me, who’d feel the same way I do, who’d be there beside me. Someone who doesn’t need to talk to me, someone who can just look into my eyes and understand me and my thoughts. Someone who’d just be there with me holding my hands leaning her head on my shoulder just as if to say, I’m here. Who’d sit beside me and try to solve this endless mystery about the raindrops and the pain that floats through it. 

Many people might say this guy is so stupid and dumb. Look at him whining about these craps. Well, I dun know what to tell them, I mean these feelings are something I feel. I cannot help it. Maybe the person who is laughing doesn’t feel it, but I do! There is a bangla term “Oparthib”, meaning something that doesn’t belong to this world, something much higher then our regular dimensions. I can also call this unknown feeling as Oparthib since it is something I cannot explain………it is something I just feel..…it is..…a raindrop for every tear….