Greater inner feelings.........

 She had cystic fibrosis. he didn't know. They came close, slept together and then fell in love. Lol. Quite opposite of the way love is supposed to happen eh? Who cares, love does not have to follow any set of rules does it? No one can say that they are gonna look into some unknown person for the first time and fall in love as in love at first sight. This is the magic of life...that it is uncertain. You cannot predict what future holds for you, you have to flow on with the waves and make your own decision. Love is a very unpredictable matter. You do not known when it is that your chest will feel that tiny sting to see someone special cry. Or that giant leap in your heart to hear that special laugh or that beautiful smile of that person. It just happens. Many of us create love which may seem to be real and going on in smooth pace, but the truth is....they do not even know what love is. Many of us see a girl or a guy and think I like this person so much, I cannot stay without them and so on, but the differences fall apart on most cases after a couple of months. The real beauty of true love is when you connect, it might be over the years as you go to school with someone, it might be years at work being friends with your soul mate, or it might be a sudden burst of feelings in your chest in a very short time. Who can define it perfectly? No one! it is how two souls connect, it how two person enlighten their world and finds it impossible to live without each other. It is something that wakes you up in the middle of the night and makes you smile to see that person right next to you. it is something that fills your total being with joy every second to know that person is yours and yours only. It is something that makes you wonder in the busiest time of the day....hey what is he or she doing at this moment? Are they missing me? let's perhaps give them a call and bug them and say something naughty. Its that perfect smile on your face when you think about the crazy times you shared. Its that rhythm that beats in your chest when it is time to go home and the sweetness of the thought of going back to him or her. Its that warm dangling feeling that rushes through your body when you are close to her or him and you are about to pull them in your arms and kiss them. That sweet heavenly touch on those lips. Maybe I am wrong, but it certainly is some bits of the whole mysterious term "Love". So as I was sayin, love has no boundaries it has no rules. You may fall in love today, you may fall in love tomorrow, it might be any day you never know. For some its very easy and simple while it is very complex and complicated for others. Every human being is unique in their thoughts, some may fall in love only once, while others may fall many times. It is very hard to determine which one is real love and which one is just a crush. Many many many people suffer from it, so have I some times. But it is your heart that tells you....oh o buddy. You cannot bring that feeling in me, I don't feel it...sorry!!! We have forgotten to listen to our heart, and the brain and logics have overcome the power of heart and how it soothed our life with comfort and joy. We have gotten accustomed to listen to what circumstances and environment around us tell us. Sigh! What a wrong way to live. O well, it all depends on person to person and how they want to lead their life. Lol! Lost my trail again. Where was I?

They fell in love, they were living together as roommates before anything happened between them. She amused him, she was so full of life. She made him happy although he had vowed to never pursuit happiness. He was set in his perfect little life, waking up..going to work....drive the expensive car, career and then coming back home to relax by himself. He dated once in a while in search of a person to share his life with, he just didn't know what it is that he likes, he saw many girls, they had talked at dinners, him the date, his buddy and his wife. He just couldn't find the person he wanted. Then she lit up his life with fireworks and joy. She followed her heart and did what she wanted to do, why? Life was unfortunately very short for her. Her illness was fatal and she could die anytime within the next 10 years. She hid it from him, afraid that he will turn her down and give more importance to her being sick and abandon her. So he didn't know. Life was moving at a faster pace as they both fell deeper and deeper in love. But she had to go for check up once in a while and stay over night at the clinic while they re tuned her and gave her medication and therapy. There was no cure for her illness yet. Funny thing I saw is while she was gone he did not know where she had gone. The first time they had talked about it and he asked her to tell her before she ever goes anywhere, so that he knows. She had to go again and there I see him twisting and turning in his bed trying to sleep...but he couldn't. He was missing her with everything. Not for the sex but also the comfort in your heart, the deeper emotion of love and worry for her altogether acting on him. Same thing the next day, came back from work...tried to see tv..tried to read a book...keeping his ears alert to see if she comes back any time soon. He missed her tremendously as I miss her at this very moment. He turned on the commercial she acted on...and played it over and over as he could hear her voice by that...the same way I listen to her voice mail sometimes...........

Then he came to know that she has cystic fibrosis, she will not live long, maybe another 10 years most. At first he was furious to know that she had hidden it from him breaking the first rule they made stating Be Honest to each other on every aspects of life. He was hurt and angry and hurt her too by the instant angry outburst. She moved out heart broken the same way he was broken and torn down. His friends, dad told him to forget her cause she hid the truth and that she won't be alive much longer. Same way her friends, family told her to forget him as he was just another day to day asshole who should be left alone. Time passed by inflicting sheer pain and loneliness between them. He missed her touch in every bit of his life, he missed her smile, her craziness, her will to live life freely and as much as they can with the moments they lived. He missed her as he woke up and he missed her as he took his distressed body to bed to sleep. Every moment was so much inter wined with her touch, he was left to go crazy the same way she was about to shatter in loneliness and extreme agony. He made up his mind and decided that he cannot live another second without her be it for a day a month or a year that she was alive. He searched through out everything to find her. She was not found, he kept on searching and searching and one day she came to know of his search. Then as he was coming out of his office he saw her.....that same pretty and naughty face. that same smile...there she was waiting for him. He went up and expressed his heartfelt sorry to her. She took him in her arms, knowing she had done wrong just as much as he had too. Love is more precious then personal grudges, anger and the feeling of I am right. Why not live the few years in full with the one that the heart desires, the one that beats in your heart every second. The one that lives in your every breath. Utmost respect to these two who vowed to fight the world and the people cause they were happy together and they loved each other so deeply.